How good is being able to piss inside the boiler room urinal Bween. After so much trying to leak out the crack in the back door you and Devon Brownhill just couldn't handle the smell of superheated piss no longer. You guys should have known boiler heat and the pool of floor piss just don't mix. So while you were being lazy resting up for your shift, Devon Brownhill crafted up a hose and funnel system where you two can now share penis germs together and piss in this tiny funnel which drains to the pavement outside. Genius Devon, Pure Genius. Not only do you rid this place of horrid smells, but you heavily reduce the risk of melting your forskin when squeezing behind the boiler with your jimmer jammers poking out. Devon, you really should have been a part time plumber aside from your Daycare job.
Ok Bween, the urinal makes you happy and the night is going ok but then you suddenly realize the time changes over tonight. Holy shitballs that's not fair, you are now in for a 13hr shift rather than a 12. This shouldn't seem like an issue Bween but you know how 1 hour within these walls is the equivalent of 4 in the real world which is also like watching Cornation St back to back. This just isn't fair Bween. Isn't fair at all!!
Well Bween, now everyones names online are "this is going to be the bestest Halloween ever!!" They couldn't possibly be having more fun than you? I mean come on, your basket is full of candies to hand out to any kids who may decide to trick or treat at the boiler rental room in the Dal parking lot. You're watching Tombstone while wearing a Freddy Kruger mask and your sipping tea while battling stomach cramps. There is no way everyone else is having a better time than you, are they?
So Devon Brownhill decides to land in the middle of the shift while drunk as fuck and dressed up like a 400lb stripper with pancake nipples. Why Devon Why? Did you really have to come in and show Bween how much fun this night is outside a 40 foot aluminum container, that has a noisy ass boiler and a faded piss smell still lingering. Eat shit Devon Brownhill, Eat shit!!
So Bween you're now sipping tea and watching the clock move backwards (literally). Man how fun is logging readings at 1am twice in a row. Who ever invented this silly system? Perhaps they had something amazing happen to them at 1am and somehow were powered by Jesus to go back and re-live that 1am feeling all over again without bothering to wait for 24 hours? Who knows. All you know Bween is that person can go fuck themselves unless it just so happened to be you who did that in a past life.
Ok Bween it's Nov first, time to set up the xmas tree and get out the egg nog and xmas tunes. Let the Festivities begin, for we all know the lord Jesus Christ was really born in a boiler room!
Amen
Bween
(4:39am which was once known as 5:39am which was also known as closer to my get to go home time.)
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