Day 10 "Suits, Chiefs & Boilers"

Bween you did it again. You relied strictly on others. How old are you, 25 or 3? You had to go ahead and call Ms. Mason again today for her to come over and dress you for your morning interview. She is only one year older than you but you really can't remember the days where you did anything without her 100% input and control. This is good though Bween because if you didn't allow her to take over, then Wildcat Jimmy would have dressed you and you'd look like a cross between Dwight Yoakum and Kurt Cobain. Hmmm you're now thinking maybe you should take Ms. Mason to the interview with you. This would be great, everything they ask you, she could whisper you the answer and you could deliver that perfect bitch everytime. Sweet.

So Ms. Mason takes one look at you as she walks in the apartment and tells you to lose the black tie and white shirt along with the Obama hat. Now you wonder what shirt doesn't make you look like your going to a wedding, so you grab your beautiful light blue moores shirt to go along with those snazzy navy pants. The shirt is amazing on you but you can't help but notice the extra long/puffy sleeves which make you look more like a transformer than anything. You almost look like a transformer who is a wee bit feminine (maybe you turn into a smart car??) Don't be mean Bween, just get another shirt. So you venture into your closet only find that 90% of your clean clothes arent clean at all. There is one shirt that looks snazzy, if one could only dodge the puke stain on the chest pocket of it. Fuck it Bween, you're going to Walmart.

As you and Ms. Mason walk into Walmart you can't help but notice all the attention your getting. Perhaps they've all read your blog and want to come meet you, or they just never seen you clean shaven before and think you look like a retarded 12 year old boy (since you are a regular there). Anyway, we'll bet the 2nd one. So you get what you need in Walmart and get out as fast as you can since Devon Brownhill is anxiously awaiting your arrival at work. Atta boy Bween, you made it to work 30min early just like Ernie Burger taught you. Good job!

Now Bween you're sitting back in your Maple Leafs chair wondering how many shit pills you will need to take in the morning before your 10am interview. You know you feel fine now, but it's a matter of time before clenching as tight as you can while calling security to come let you into the shitter. Either way Bween just relax, take a deep breath, and get back to work. You must know by now those 4 dvd's arent gunna watch themselves by 7am. Get going you lil whippersnapper you. Make the Chief Engineers proud.

Bween
1:43am (approximately 4 hours until washroom call)