Monday, October 26, 2009

Day 7 " Fuzzy Peach Boilers"

Bween, prior to your shift you decide you need to take the shape of a true Power Engineer. You know something is missing but can't put your finger on it. So you sit down for 12 hour periods and allow the hemorrhoids to build . Check. You have enough facial hair to shape a horrific mustache. Check. And you don't clean your coveralls so you permanently smell bad. Check. Then what could it be? You sit up quickly in your bed an hour before your shift and suddenly you realize whats missing. Obesity! You Bween are way too skinny to ever do this job correctly. So you jump in your Pontiac Grand AM your aunt Gwen sold you and you fly to Sobeys. Fuck making sandwhiches, you need some real grub. You head straight to the junk food isle and start deciding on what bag of lays chips to buy. As much as you want Roast Chicken and Salt n Vinegar you realize deep down inside a true mans flavour is plain. You grab two bags of them and quickly run to the candy section where you quickly grab 4 mars bars and a jug of fuzzy peaches. OK Bween, go to the cash right away because you know Devon will be pissed if your late due to your Obesity revelation.

You get to work and just in time. Devon released from his cage heads to the gym to harden his abs and lessen his power engineering knowledge; because we all know the brains behind power engineering lies deep within the milkbag titties and tummies of true men. Then again, what educated man calls a gut a tummy. Sorry bout that one folks.

Ok Bween you ate so much candy now you are either going to shit your pants or you're never going to shit again. Either way it seems like a lose lose situation, much like that famous hit the Wildcats perform. So the feet are up, and you are now finishing up watching Scream 2. The strong hand character actually makes you laugh. Suddenly you get a text and its from miss B.J.B. saying her and The Gut are outside my cage. I quickly open the cage and let them into my cave of noises and unneccessary piping. The Gut looks through every cabinet as fast as he possibly can. Much like an overexcited kid on the terrible TV show Funhouse (1989 ish). Finally he leaves and you get a quick kiss by the boiler by B.J.B. It's Working, the small gut of knowledge is actually turning on all the women of the outside cage world. One girl walked in this room and you got a kiss. Your 1 for 1 Bween. Eat your heart out Freddy Kruger and ManKind, maybe you guys should focus on boilers and Obesity rather than killing and body slamming innocent people.

The Night is but a Pup, but you must get the black tea on the go (since milk goes bad in 20sec by the boiler) and watch The Lord of the Rings "The Two Towers" and eat more fuzzy peaches.

God Bless candy.

In the name of the Boiler, The pump and the Holy Feedwater. Amen

Bween

1:01am

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